Yes. It is three o’clock in the morning and I am still awake. Surrounded by textbooks, scribbled notes, baby toys, and two snoring boys (hehe). Recently I have been dealing with shame and humiliation due to something that happened in my past. I should have dealt with this a LONG time ago, but instead I chose to put it off and wait until…tomorrow. Of course life happens, things pop up,and there is nothing wrong with having a moment. BUT, DO NOT GET STUCK IN THAT MOMENT! Or even worse, don’t try to cover up what is going on like nothing happened. At some point in time what you do not deal with in one season of your life, you will have to deal with in another. My current situation is living proof of that. So now, here I am currently out of work (and my job was awesome!), with a family to take care of and I just feel stuck. Stuck in yesterday because I chose to wait until..tomorrow.
It wasn’t until just now as I was typing the last sentence on the last paper that I have to write to finish my Bachelor’s degree (yes, you read that correctly) when it hit me! What I did or should have done back then does not matter nor define what I do right now! I have the CHOICE to walk into my destiny and stop waiting until tomorrow to do it. Is writing this paper annoying? yes. Do I wish that I would have finished my degree a year ago? yes. Do I wish I knew what was next for me and my family? yes. BUT GOD! At the end of the day he has it all under control. There is a reason why I am here writing this paper and out of work. There is a purpose behind it all. I may not know for certain WHY, but I do know that I can trust God to lead to me to whatever he has planned for me.
In the meantime, I’m not going to rush. I am going to take each day at a time and GIVE IT MY ALL! I may not be able to change my situation, but I can change ME. No more waiting until tomorrow. I’m going to change me TODAY! I’m going to walk into my tomorrow TODAY! I’m going to stand on God’s word and trust him TODAY! Even when it gets hard (and trust me ya’ll, it gets hard!). By no means have I fully passed this test or learned what God needs to me learn in this season, but I just wanted to send some encouragement to someone somewhere. Someone who may be in a place in their lives and they don’t understand why. Why me? Why now? Someone who is struggling with the fact that they might not be where they THINK they should be. Someone who is tired of looking at the successes of everyone around them and wondering when is it going to be YOUR turn? I am going to encourage you (encourage us 🙂 ) to WAIT. Hold on Ivory. What do you mean wait? You just said no more waiting on tomorrow! You’re right. I encourage you to start waiting on and trusting in God TODAY because what he has for your tomorrow is something bigger and better than you could ever dream. Even if your tomorrow is just being able to wake up and have another day to strive towards your goals and the plans God has for you, be thankful. Be grateful. Be humble and embrace the tomorrow that God has for you.
I just wanted to come to you guys and bring you something real. Know that we all are going through something and we all can learn and lean on one another. You are not in this thing alone. I hope you are able to find some peace and provision in your situation! As always, remember to flourish!